MATERIAL SAFETY DATA SHEET of Marine Engineer

Marine Engineer
MATERIAL SAFETY DATA SHEET
taken from the "Ideal Deckhand Manual"

Product name: Engineer
Product code: r-u-up-2-69
W.H.M.I.S. classification: lower class if any class at all
Material use: Not much use at all
U.S.H.M.I.S. (GUIDELINE ONLY):

• Health- Generally an unhealthy lot
• Flammability- Unfortunately they do not burn very well
• Reactivity- Very slow (witted)
• Personal protection- Trojan extra heavy duty

Hazardous ingredients:

• May contain alcohol,
• amphetamines,
• barbiturates
• or any number of psychedelic drugs

Physical data:

• Odor- Pungent odor
• Odor threshold- Not very long (perish the thought)
• Specific gravity- Should sink if secured to an anchor
• Density- Yes, they are extremely dense

Reactivity data:

• Stability- can become very unstable if asked to think or make a decision
• Incompatibility with other lower life forms- No incompatibility (That’s a double negative to any engineers that may be having this read to them)
• Conditions of reactivity- Reactions?? Yea right!

Toxicological properties:

• Route of entry- You do not want to go there
• Irritability- Is a severe irritant
• Mutagenicity- May cause heritable genetic damage

Effects of acute exposure

• May affect: ability to problem solve, I.Q.,
• common sense.
• May cause headache and nausea.

First aid measures:

• Skin- Wash affected areas with soap and water.
• Remove Contaminated clothing; if irritation persists, see doctor
• Eyes- Look the other way, irritating but does not injure eye tissue

Additional info:

• The bilge dwellers are a lower fife form that should be avoided.

In the days of sail, this was not a problem, life was good. Now we have to put up with them until an unmanned engine room comes along. Oh what a happy day that will be.

Q: What do engineers use for birth control?
A: Their personalities.